Amanda Fisher Coaching

I help women get crazy strong - physically AND mentally - through strength training, sustainable eating habits, and a heathy mindset.

Four (Mom) Boss Tips To Avoid Passing Body Image Yuck On To Your Littles

Last week, I came across something disturbing AF on social media.  A body fat measuring scale for…………..KIDS.

Holy effballs, you guys.  I immediately wanted to throw up in my mouth a little, because this is potentially what we are doing to the NEXT generation.  Did you know that HALF of teenage girls have been on a diet?  I mean, I thought we were doing better than this at this stage.

Then, I got raged up.  I mean, what in the ACTUAL eff?

Then, I started thinking critically.  Instead of freaking out (well,I did internally)….I thought for a few days on what we CAN do to help our littles NOT deal in the body image ick that so many of us deal in.

Said another way, what things can WE Mom Bosses do right now to breed healthy confidence, and not shame or fear surrounding bodies or food.  Or, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t instill a nasty body image yuck cycle in those littles.

I’m definitely not an expert in this area.  I mean, I get caught up in body image yuck and have to check myself lots!  Having little girls has made that CRYSTAL clear.  My four tips aren’t exactly mind blowing.  However, they might create a stir in YOU, as you begin to have to deal with and/or unpack all the body image shit that YOU deal with internally, whether you know it or not.  This definitely isn’t meant to be a blame game for anyone (including myself), but it’s an opportunity to be aware and do better as we go.

And guess what?  We can talk and say all the right things about body image, but if WE don’t act the part, well, that’s not super awesome.  Actions always, always, always speak louder than words.  So I’m going to give you a variety of topics to process, with lots of questions.  This post isn’t about “how” to do this so much as to get you reflecting a little bit so YOU can figure out YOUR way of addressing this.

Check YOUR language.  How are you talking about YOUR body?  How are you talking about YOUR food intake?  What descriptions are you making of your body?  What words are present as you talk about health and weight and food?  This is a big damn clue, mamas.  We have a big opportunity to use lots of positive words around body image and food stuff.

  • Eating lunch gives me LOTS of energy.
  • Veggies give me big muscles!
  • I like how this outfit makes me feel.
  • I love my legs!

Mamas, we can go lots of places here, depending on the ages of your littles.  But more importantly, it starts with how YOU are talking about YOURSELF so THEY can learn, too.

Check YOUR actions.  Are you marching to the scale every day to mourn?  Are your littles seeing that?  What about the mirror?  What kid of expressions are your littles seeing when they are in front of the mirror with you?  Disgust, pinching skin, and yuck?  Or power, smiles, and appreciation?  I think lots of things can happen with mirror time that can be opportunities for learning and growth.  Yes, there are the muscle flexing times, I mean, DUH!  I think you can probably learn lessons from a bad day in the mirror, too, with a kid.  I mean, everything ISN’T rosey all the time in life and with body image.  Mirror time can easily be a time for reflection and appreciation, or even just to make yourself laugh with crazy faces and whatnot.  Oh, and are you always making yourself different meals than your littles?  Or are you eating what they eat to some extent?  If littles are eating pizza and mom’s plate is completely different, won’t there be questions…or even assumptions….that mom’s can’t eat like everyone else?

Measuring weight and body fat on a child is probably just not a great choice.  I’m no expert, but holy hell, getting the “how much do I weigh” and “do I have too much body fat” and “am I the same clothing size as my friends” thoughts into a child’s head is probably not ideal at all.  This can easily lead to “is this the right weight” or “am I too big” or a whole bunch of other yuck that just need not be present at home.  Of course, littles get exposed to things in the real world and at school and from social media, but holy hell, if we can keep home a measuring free zone, well….I think we can teach them that measurements aren’t the norm.

Face those conversations instead of avoiding them.  I mean, it can be easy to avoid or change the subject on a hard body image topic.  Avoiding doesn’t give littles an opportunity to learn a positive way (unless you are trying to avoid the “where do babies come from” convo and trying to make dad be the teacher on that one, lol).  I don’t know about YOU, but having these conversations at times feels like insane therapy for ME.  Having to face MY shit head up and put the conversation and lesson into words a four year old can interpret and learn from helps ME realize some of the yuck I’m STILL hanging on to in the back of my brain.  It simplifies it for me, to be honest.

Oof, you guys.  There isn’t one way here in my opinion.  But there are a lot of NOT awesome ways, too.  Ultimately it probably depends on the context and atmosphere and YOU and YOUR littles.

What say you on this topic?  I’m ALL ears.  Because if we unpack OUR shit, we can help our littles nix some of that baggage.

Three Key Pieces To Building A Strong Consistency Muscle

I wax on about consistency.  And….I am a wholehearted believer that consistency trumps intensity every single time.  Meaning, those that just plug in and do the work, even if it’s just for a few minutes every day, will ALWAYS get ahead faster than those that beast for 6 weeks and then fall off the wagon.

Because they have committed to something everyday, they have set themselves up for a powerful chain of events.  Picture it as rolling a tiny snowball at the top of a hill.  The tiny snowball seems meaningless.  But as you roll it down the hill and it adds layers and layers of snow, and pretty soon doesn’t need help getting rolled down because it’s getting huge….well, you get the idea.  It’s the powerful chain of events.

The thing that I see that trips most women up is that we try to make this part TOO DAMN HARD.  “A little something everyday” seems to end up being “Annihilate your body everyday” or “I have to workout an hour everyday” or it doesn’t count.  You see, it is easy to mess up the intensity of consistency.  Making it….not so attainable everyday.  It’s sexy to say “I’m gonna KILL my workout everyday from here on out, no excuses”…..but it isn’t actually DOABLE.  Because life, somewhere, will pop up along the way, and throw you off your game, and you’ll miss a day.  For many women, missing that day then sets off a guilt chain, which sets off yucky feelings, which makes it easy to either bail on the NEXT workout, or feel icky about oneself.

These emotions, surrounding something healthy and empowering like workouts, are just completely useless.  They don’t solve anything for us.  They don’t make us better.  They just make things harder.

So, I wanted to lay down my three biggies for helping you flex your consistency muscle.  Said another way, here’s my no-glam, real talk approach to getting your rear end from canceling on yourself 50% of the time to hitting your workouts 90% of the time.

  1. Accept that in the beginning, and sometimes overall, that you won’t actually feel like working out.  It’s the most unsexy advice out there.  But…to be honest, the most useful.  We want to do things we feel like all the time.  We want everything to be fun.  Welp, the hardest part about making a change is that…it’s NOT always fun.  It’s just not.  In order to build the size of your consistency muscle, though, you must flex it frequently.  Your consistency muscle doesn’t grow in size if you don’t work it.  Said another way, you can’t develop consistency if you don’t put forth the effort. And the beginning, well…that is HARD sometimes.  The first few days are exciting, and that quickly wears off and forces you to confront that workout consistency hasn’t been in your life, and real life with pop up at you and try to throw you off your new workout game, and you will have to tell it to eff off and stay the course.  I don’t want to be Negative Nelly here, but it’s just how it goes.  The people who are doing the damn thing are the people who do it even when they don’t want to sometimes.  End of story.  This is you at the top of the hill beginning to roll the snowball.  To get it going on it’s own, you have to help shape it first.
  2. Insist upon committing to less, and over-flippin-delivering.  Ever look at a to-do list that is a mile long and you feel so overwhelmed that you just give up because what’s the point?  Flexing your consistency muscle is absolutely no different.  It’s easy to bail when you feel like the flex you are about to make doesn’t make much difference in the overall picture so why start today?  In order to get that snowball bigger and bigger, we need a streak of winning weeks under our belt.  Commit to MUCH less when you begin setting your sights on a bigger consistency muscle.  MUCH less.  Think 2 workouts per week here, and make them workouts that you will actually DO.  Solidify them in your calendar, execute them when they pop up.  Whatever happens on the other five days of the week happens, but nail those two workouts.  In my experience, those that commit to less, tend to show up a little extra for themselves  during the week because the insane pressure is gone.  I operate no differently.  I commit to less, and usually over deliver like a boss.  When you do the two workouts you’ve said you would do this week, you’ve just given yourself 100%.  When you do the two workouts out of the six you said you would do…well, that rate plummets to 33%.  Which would you feel good about?  Go back to the snowball.  When you are in the early stages of shaping that snowball, which do you think would help you build faster….100% focus or 33%? The clients that I work with tend to feel pretty damn jazzed at 100%, and therefore think it’s not so hard to sometimes toss in an extra workout for the week, or do another empowering action that nudges them forward (er….builds that snowball a bit bigger).
  3. Be incredibly stingy with the number of changes you make at one time.  Hey ladies, go back to #2 and that to-do list that can always be a mile long.  I’d like to encourage you here to keep only ONE of those things about change.  In this case, your workouts.  Most often, we struggle with consistency because we lose track.  We get lost in the shuffle of too many changes.  We don’t laser beam focus on it.  We try….to change too many things at ONE time.  An example here would be trying to change how you eat AND how you workout all in the same.  You can definitely do both, but we need to focus on one first to get the snowball shaped and formed, before we focus on the other.  In order to build our consistency muscle, we need to flex it A LOT.  A great rule of thumb is get a streak of weeks under your belt where you focus on only ONE change, and can execute that change 90% of the time….before adding another change.  Meaning….pick your change, and rock it for a few weeks, and get to at least 90% consistency before adding one more thing to work at changing.  This will help you build and shape that snowball and get it rolling down the hill by itself…before you focus on a second snowball.  Said another way, you are flexing the hell out of the consistency muscle, and now you are finding yourself standing in front of your bathroom mirror doing ALL the flexing and admiring that new muscle.

You guys, NONE of this sound sexy.  Absolutely none of it.  Which is why we don’t read this stuff on social media, because it doesn’t sell.  Big Fitness and Big Diet don’t sell this stuff because they can’t generate revenue from it to keep them in Big Fitness and Big Diet.

So, sometimes when you feel frustrated and like you know exactly what to do but find yourself consistently….NOT….doing THAT, it’s time to try a new approach.  What I’ve just talked about above actually won’t line the pockets of Big Diet and Big Fitness but it WILL vaccinate you against their bullshit.  Because you will have just built insane CONFIDENCE by doing the thing that trips so many up.

Helpful?  Drop me a comment on my Facebook page!  Or better yet, join Boss Up! – my private Facebook group, where my Lady Boss tribe talks about a bunch of cool shit each week!


Three Things That Make My Blood Boil About Pinterest Core Workouts

A simple search of “core workout” on Pinterest yields a frightening amount of shitty core workouts.

To be fair, there were about four “ok” ones.

And….after scrolling for probably 15 minutes, the rest were either not ideal, not factual, not safe, and…..most of those were from people who appeared to have no training or knowledge or education in actually writing and appropriate core workout.

Also, the language surrounding these workouts is absolutely horrid.

“Lose the mom pooch in x days….”

“Best exercises to destroy your belly pooch.”

“The x day flat belly challenge.”

“X day Muffin Top Challenge.”

“Shrink your belly in x days.”

“Perfect pregnancy prenatal core workouts.” (OMG you guys, this one made me cringe, the exercises were SO not ideal for a pregnant body)

My favorite part about scrolling these disasters is when the writer of the workouts has no idea what an exercise is called, so things like “butt ups” and “lean backs” are born.

Oh, and the plank a day pictures…..where there is so much anterior pelvic tilt that the woman in the photo isn’t even remotely targeting her core because her abs are out of the game (and her low back is probably sore like woah). Though, I suppose, it does make for a nice fitness model pose picture when her ass is in the air….*sigh*.

My blood boils, ladies. It BOILS.

Because instead of providing credible, factual, USEFUL information, social media (in this case, Pinterest) is just a place to get more garbage from, and to fuel it further down into the lives of women.

Let me tell you the THREE biggest things that really make me want to rant and rant and rant about Pinterest core workouts…..

  1. They are not user specific. I mean, duh, how can they be. They are poorly designed workouts that have a mish mash of exercises that *feel* like core muscles working and burning. BUT, the graphic they are designed on is so pretty, and tells you in so many words how THIS CORE WORKOUT is going to five you a flat tummy. If you can’t feel my sarcasm, I’ll spell it out. And “the core” isn’t trained by a mish mash of exercises easily displayed on a pretty graphic. It works through a variety of exercises during a workout that don’t always feel like muscles working and burning, maybe sometimes it does. It also works during the rest of your life too, during a healthy breathing pattern, how well you carry yourself with posture and alignment. This varies person to person, core to core….because bodies are DIFFERENT and have different “things” going on for them.

  2. They portray that “toning” your core, or melting at the midsection is done via a specific workout instead of a multifaceted approach of proper nutrition, strength training, and stress management and sleep. Just because someone writes “this core workout will shrink your midsection in two weeks” on a fancy graphic doesn’t mean that workout will ACTUALLY shrink your midsection in two weeks.

  3. Just because someone writes a core workout on Pinterest….doesn’t mean it is legit, credible, SAFE, factual, TRUE, or based on any sort of knowledge or training so they can advise other individuals. I DO know some legit professionals who pin some workouts, and they ARE credible. But, that’s probably like 4%. The other 96% is spewed up onto Pinterest boards from people not credible to provide such information, and shared to the masses of women wanting to consume this information. So, consider your source I guess is what I’m saying. And, don’t share things you don’t know to be true might be good advice for all of us (about core workouts, or life in general).

Here’s the thing. There is more to a healthy core than just a workout. SO MUCH MORE. How do we breathe, how we do sit, stand, and rest in positions? How do we exercise? Do we have any special considerations, injuries, or weaknesses that would impact any one of these things? Are we choosing exercises that mimic real life AND how the core rotates, doesn’t rotate, and how it protects the spine? SO MUCH to consider here.

And so, I’m offering you a chance to learn how your core works, how to work on breathing, how to stand and sit and rest with your core in mind. Oh, and….the big exercises to look to when it’s time to go to the gym. I’m actually putting on #CoreBoss for FREE beginning January 10th, and I’d love to have you join me. My goal with this course is to get women thinking critically about this stuff, so THEY can be their own guru, and not rely on Pinterest to vomit up crappy workouts for them. #CoreBoss is 100% online, and 100% FREE. Please share this with your best girlfriend who could use this information and stop the madness with allll the sit-ups, alllll the time, mmmmmkay?

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