Ah yes. Today is the day. The day I’m done being Switzerland about Beachbody.
I’m going to rant about the “latest and greatest” Beachbody program….80 Day Obsession.
AKA another way for people to get sucked into the mentality that fitness (and nutrition, if you’re a “fixer”) must be BALLS TO THE WALLS in order for it to count.
Let’s start with the name of the program.
80 Day Obsession. AKA 80 Days Of Disordered Thinking About Yourself, Your Fitness, And Your Food.
I don’t know about you, but 80 days is a long ass time for me to be obsessive about my workouts and my nutrition. Hell, one day is too long to be obsessive about those things. I’m more like….let’s lift a few times a week, enjoy our eating, and then still do the mom-ing, and the working and not just be so damn focused on “pushing play” for the sake of pushing play to say “I was obsessed for 80 days.”
There doesn’t seem to be room for growth with an 80 day obsession. There just seems to be room for starting a program, being crazy about it for 80 days, and then stopping. Then what happens? Are you “indifferent” for 80 days beyond that?
According to Beachbody’s website, under FAQ’s….in order for someone to be successful with the 80 day obsession….
….You need discipline and dedication—and a willingness to work hard for maximum results! To reshape your body in a specific way like this requires an obsession to detail, including following the Timed-Nutrition Eating Plan and giving your all in every workout. It’s not easy, but don’t worry, Autumn and the cast will be right there with you, working just as hard!
To reshape your body requires an obsession to detail, people! We aren’t doing it good enough anymore! Plus, that timed nutrition eating plan! I mean….
80 Day Obsession….another way of saying if you don’t prioritize nutrition and workouts to the hilt and live and die by them, you just aren’t good enough.
Here’s the thing. It isn’t *just* about the 80 Day Obsession.
It’s that it isn’t good enough anymore to incorporate some strategic workouts and figuring out how the hell how to like how you eat after being on a diet for eleventy billion years. Nope, now we gotta OBSESS. And that really chaps my ass. Because, well, isn’t the point of fitness and food to ENHANCE our life? Not BE our life?
A quick question that I like to ask myself when I’m considering a new program or a nutritional approach….
Am I willing to do this for the rest of my life?
I mean, because, if I’m not, well…where the hell are those “hardcore” results gonna go after the 80 obsessive freaking days?
Perhaps a better way to do this, Beachbody, is to help people find the intersection between where they can eat in a sustainably healthy fashion, work out in a sustainably healthy fashion, AND FUNCTION AND THRIVE IN THEIR LIFE IN A SUSTAINABLY HEALTHY FASHION (yes, those are shouty effing capitals). Where is THAT program, Beachbody? Where are THOSE “coaches” helping people do THAT?
Oh that’s right. There aren’t sales in those products. There won’t be turnover in those products from the buyers needing to find “the next best program” after they obsess for 80 effing days.
How does a company in the multi billion dollar fitness and diet industry generate revenue?
Hint: they DON’T, if their target market suddenly decides to like themselves and doesn’t need the hardcore shit anymore.
You guys, this isn’t just about the 80 Day Obsession. This is about the entirety of this brand.
Push play on this 80 day program. Good job! Whoops, not good enough, now buy this really freaking expensive superfood shake to go with it. Good job, aren’t they delicious? Aren’t you freaking nourished and #blessed?
Wait….we need help pushing this shit out to the masses, I know, let’s create “coaches!”
Suddenly spread in every feed in your social, hell, you’re lucky if you have just one in there. There’s likely three or four. Hinting that you should join their clean eating challenge. Or their detox (the devil’s work). Or….maybe you want to create YOUR #blessed life too, and start peddling the shit down the line to the next unsuspecting victims.
Here’s the thing. I’m down if you want to push yourself in a workout program. Dude, I push myself in workout programs! I am down with that good stuff! I am down with adding some healthy intensity to my life. I’m also down with making my nutrition match my goals, so long as it’s sustainable and SANE.
I am absolutely not down with this shit running my life for 80 days, or 1 day. I have better things to think about.
I am also not down with a company who talks down to the masses about “needing to feel good about wearing that swimsuit this summer.” Because if it’s summer, you put a swimsuit on. End of story. And feel good about feeling good RIGHT NOW in it, too.
Oh, and let’s not quite stop there. I’m not down with people who actually perhaps don’t have the training to advise people in workout programs or nutritional protocols, and the only credential they have is paying $49 or $99 to a company to buy a starter kit to help them peddle shit down the line. That isn’t training. That’s a pyramid. No matter if you feel #blessed or not.
Here are the things I look for in a workout program for what it’s worth:
- It’s intentional…the exercises inside of it help you be better at something, somehow, and help you shore up any weak stuff
- It’s scalable….you can make it harder or easier, there isn’t a cookie cutter way or choreographed bullshit
- It’s a tool in your toolbox, not your ENTIRE toolbox (meaning, it enhances your life, doesn’t RUN your life)
There are more things for sure, those are a quick list. Shitshows like 80 Day Obsession are exactly why I wrote #MomBoss. Because, well, it meets my criteria for a program, AND is short and sweet AF for busy mamas to get inside their workout and get out of it, so they can continue on wiping butts, winning the bread, and ending their day with a glass of wine (that doesn’t fit into a 21 day fix container, BTW). I have no idea if #MomBoss is for you. Only YOU can know that. And a full disclosure on #MomBoss. It will make you stronger and more resilient, but it won’t help you magically find happy, because that’s an inside job. It is one tool in your toolbox. And you already rock. This will help you follow a strength program, stay focused, build mom muscle, and, to be honest, probably be stronger and more mobile than you even think can happen in eight short weeks. But it can’t BE your life. It can only be a tiny little sliver. Because 80 days of freaking obsession is no way to live, mmmmkay?
PS – Gloves are off, Beachbody. And, well, every MLM for that matter.